"You can’t discuss sexism without first acknowledging that as a culture we define the heterosexual male as normal and everyone else by how different they are from that arbitrary normal, ‘arbitrary’ being the key word." — Winston Rowntree
Cracked has been so on point lately.
why are girls expected to go through an experimental lesbian phase but u never hear about dudes goin gay for a while whats up w/ that
cause that would be realllllly weird, unlike girls doing it. guys actually like when girls do it.
do me a favor and staple all your fingertips together
Ethiopian girl guarded from gang rape & assault by three lions.
“The girl had been taken by seven men who wanted to force her to marry one of them. She was beaten repeatedly. Then the lions chased off her captors. The three lions guarded her for about half a day. They stood guard until we found her and then they just left her like a gift and went back into the forest.”
Then, Stuart Williams (the local wildlife ‘expert’) suggests that perhaps the lions mistook the 12 year old girl’s cries for a lion cub. Which seems awfully silly, considering that lions are perfectly capable of telling apart the gazelles they eat from their own cubs, aren’t they?
if fuckin lions know that rape is bad then so should you
TW: Talk of rape culture
Let’s take a moment to talk about this. I mean, because first off, “Tell cars not to hit kids.” Well, yeah, we do that all the fucking time, idiot. Ever seen signs like these?
We have classes and signs and laws about it, and people are constantly reminded. So your argument only works if we put up signs everywhere reminding assholes not to rape. But you’d rather talk about how rape victims have it coming to them.
But the dumbest part of this crap? Roads exist for cars to drive on. Children need to be careful to cross the street because they’re entering into an environment that exists specifically for something that is dangerous to them. The only way this shit is a valid comparison is if you think that bars, parties, and the world in general exists specifically for men to have sex with women. And I gotta break it to the guys who support this stupidity- your dicks are not that important. So knock off this bullshit and stop excusing rapists.
Also comparison does not work since cars are, as far as we know, not sentient and driven by humans, whereas rapists are, nominally, human.
Hi! Thank you for purchasing the audiobook of “How to Ruin Your Life, for Fun and Profit”,
As read by the author, Neil Hilborn.
So, you wanna be unhappy?
You probably think that you need to be in pain to be an interesting person - and you’re right!
People who “care” about you will tell you that you don’t need to suffer to be important,
But just remember, musicians are always most popular the day after they die!
So, are you ready to matter to someone?
You are, presumably, a human being between the ages of alive and dead,
So the chances are you’re already there!
Fall in love,
People will tell you that this takes years,
But we have a secret method that will allow you to fall for anyone in under a week,
The trick is, you must be completely unable to tell the difference between love and co-dependence!
Fall in love again,
People will tell you that this is impossible, given the love already inside you,
But they don’t know you,
Your love is limitless,
Your heart is a well that goes all the way down,
You can fit everyone in there!
But remember to lie about it,
Love can’t exist in the knowledge of other love,
At this point you may be debating your decision to totally fuck up your life,
So ask yourself:
Would you rather be happy or interesting?
Would you rather be on the news, or just watching it?
Happy people don’t make history,
Happy people make children, then die,
Develop a mental disorder that makes you aloof and impossible to contact,
When Someone accuses you of being a bad person,
Call them insensitive!
Instant moral superiority!
All of the elements are in place,
Now, start sabotaging your own life,
This isn’t crazy, this is research,
This is material,
This is necessary for your personal growth,
You’ve been in love with two people for a while now,
Tell them about each other!
Whichever one stays is the winner!
Call your boss a fascist dog lover,
Tell your friends fun lies about your other friends,
Tell your mother that she was the reason you tried to kill yourself,
It just isn’t depression without total isolation,
Do something to hurt yourself,
It may be a bicycle “accident”,
It may be a razor,
Literal or not, make yourself bleed,
Paint your scars on the side of a building,
Write a poem and shout it at strangers,
The misery circus is parading into town and you are holding the banner,
Miles of people are following you,
They are all wearing grey,
A rainbow of grey,
They are all watching as they kick themselves bloody on their own feet,
You have scars,
And everyone wants to kiss them,
This is stigmata pornography,
This is inspiration,
You are why they are still alive,
You are morning in a world of midnights,
You are so brave,
And they want to be brave just like you,
Look at what you have built,
Everything you loved has gone,
Tell yourself it was worth it.